I tell you, I wouldn’t be writing this without some sort of thought that here my g/f and I are not officially together, but yet it had to be the best Valentine’s Day in my entire life. While I have to admit that there were some things missing (i’ll let you fill in the details on what normally ends a great V-day), I wouldn’t have traded this day for anything. After surprising her with flowers at her work (I took them there before she got there this morning) and some cool little M&M treats, which were reminders from someone who cares about her (the hint here was M & M – as in my name – Marty Mankins). Then with dinner at Chili’s and some really good talking. She could not tell me enough how wonderful of a day it was. And the honest to God truth is that I really did everything because of how I feel about her and how much I want our lives to be together. But the best part was when I asked her how she felt about our future and when she said her hope was that we would be together again, it was all I needed to know that we both wanted the same thing. And being on the end of the issues I brought to the relationship before and being smart enough to learn from my lessons and look forward to the present and the future, it made me even more know that I love this woman and the changes I have made and will make are validated. Not only to myself (as I feel tons better in the last 3 weeks), but to be the man she originally fell in love with and wants to spend her life with. That’s what makes it all worth the pain and the struggle to make the changes I need to….. The only thing I miss more than her is being the cool, happy and fun-loving person I used to be. He’s making his way back…. it’s taking some time, but not as much time as I thought it would take. Thank you Reba… for believing in me and allowing me to show you I am the man that will spend the rest of his life with you.